3 Ways to Reclaim Your Rhythm

I started the year hot. 

I launched a new website, released a teaser eBook for my long-awaited upcoming book, and created a motivational IG channel called Chosen 1s. I've also performed at multiple spoken word events, led creative writing workshops, sat on panels, given keynotes, all while attempting to put God first and not crash out.

(Not that I’m a crashout, I just like saying crashout. It’s a funny word.) 

But what I’ve learned in the past couple of months is what many men striving to do better can agree on: Life really be life’n. 

And when life starts life’n, that’s where you can easily fumble your rhythm.  

I have to be completely honest. I’m a busy man. Sometimes my busyness pulls me in multiple directions. I don’t run or hide from it. I love to work. I love to face challenges head-on. I thrive on “figuring it out,” and I pride myself on being mentally tough, emotionally intelligent and disciplined. 

However, as tough as I am, and as much growth as I have experienced in the last couple of years, I have to be clear: I am not Superman. (S/o to the new Superman movie. DC over Marvel, we can debate.) 

But even Superman had to “lay low” because he lost his rhythm at some points. For me, some days I struggle to smile. A lot of days, my faith is tested. Often, I drag myself across multiple finish lines. And as of lately, I have experienced something I haven’t experienced in a while, and that is: falling out of my rhythm.

Life Be Life’n

I shut down. I lock in. I pop out. I don't want sympathy. This is what we ask and pray for as men. Opportunity and growth. Sometimes, growth and the bravado we desire appear in the form of challenges to face and grow through. This is what makes us stronger. I love it. I’m blessed. 

But… I’m also human. 

Between my work as an educator, community advocate and artist, my schedule can get all over the place. 

Lately, I haven’t seen some of my people the way I’ve wanted to. I’m asleep before 10 pm some nights. It takes me days to return some text messages. My art and social life sometimes ride in the back seat, while adulting rides shotgun. I’ve been snoozing my 5 a.m. alarm and cheating on those 10 miles I’m used to running weekly. I was an eat-the-same-meal-all-week-for-discipline guy, but I’ve come too lax, even with my meal prepping. And it all hits different because I’ve tasted discipline. 

I wouldn’t say I’ve fallen off, I’ve just fallen back. I’m not off course, I’m just rerouting. I’m not stuck, just slowed down. And I’m not without words, I’m just searching for the rhythm of them. 

And that’s it right there, I’ve been wrestling with rhythm. Not grind, not focus, not work ethic, but just with the rhythm and pace I’ve grown accustomed to. But what I recently learned is that manhood is also about pacing yourself. 

3 Ways to Reclaim Your Rhythm 

So, for anyone who has tasted discipline before and desires to get back to that locked-in, tunnel vision mode, here are three gems to get you back to that mode.

Write it Down 

Write. Everything. Down.

Everything.  

Continuing on last week’s GPS theme, the easiest way not to get lost is to write down the directions to get to the destination. Once the vision is on paper, you’ve now created a roadmap. 

Buy a calendar. Buy an organizer or journal. Download Google Calendar. Open up your Notes app. Buy a variety pack of Post-its or composition notebooks. Create a To Do list every morning.  Write on the back of old mail if you have to, but you have to write the vision down. 

On top of writing down your goals, wins, losses and frustrations, you should add checkpoints/deadlines to your schedule. These checkpoints will help you to identify what’s working and what’s not and serve as accountability updates.  

A vision not written down is just a daydream. That said, the first step to regaining your rhythm is to put pen to paper and write. 

Recognize the Season You’re In 

90% of reclaiming your rhythm is recognizing what season you are in, which is being honest with yourself. And by season, I don’t mean winter, spring, summer or fall, I mean the emotional, mental, and spiritual season/climate you are currently in.

Is this a rebuild year or a branding year? Is this a run-it-up year or a stackin’ year? What season am I in is what you have to ask yourself. 

Let’s break it down in a fashion sense. Summer requires you to focus less on outfits and more on sneakers. In terms of adulting, some seasons require less attention to detail or routines. On the other hand, just like winter requires details to layers and outerwear, there are times in your life when you need more support, structure, and discipline.

When you recognize the season you are in, you take all unnecessary pressure off yourself. 

Reset

A lot of men, including myself, struggle with this last step, which is to simply reset or rest. 

We struggle because we look at rest as a weakness, when that’s simply not true. I like to look at resetting as the simple act of intentionally taking a break from something and purposefully coming back to the task at hand. Resetting is acknowledging that whatever you’re doing at the moment isn’t working, but when I come back to it at the set time, I will have a fresh mindset towards it. 

I get it, resting doesn’t feel normal, especially if you aren’t used to it, but sometimes resting is the bravest thing you can do. Resetting is especially important when you have lost your rhythm because it’s in that stillness where you can hear yourself again. So, just as you add to the To Do list, add rest in there also. I am just understanding the importance of DND.  Rest before big decisions and after major/minor rejections, because resting is a way of lightening the load. 

Closing Thoughts

Everyone loses their rhythm at some point. It will inevitably happen, but how you recover is key. Give yourself grace without giving yourself an excuse to quit or be lazy. That’s it. That’s all. 

Stay Chosen.